At first, the message may seem to encourage a self-serving attitude, but the true reason the overly-friendly flight attendant asks you to save yourself first is because you can't do anyone (including yourself) any good if you're lying face down on that nasty airplane carpet gasping for air. By maintaining your health and strength in case of emergency, you not only have a better chance of survival, but greater ability to help others. When it's hard to breathe in our gay relationships, we have a tendency to try and help our partners first- ignoring our own needs. We offer our partners all of our crucial emotional, physical and mental reserves in hopes of saving them and the relationship from disaster. The result is then two people in a state of emergency left weak and resentful. Inevitably, the relationship crumbles beyond repair as both parties struggle for the needed support and attention that neither one can provide. When we secure our own supply of air, we have a better chance of saving our significant other and, in turn, our relationship.

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